Breaking the Seal

Overheard as I began my evening run: “Bridal shops have various sizes of pillows to approximate the size your fetus (will be on your wedding day).”  Certainly this is the seventh and final sign of the coming apocalypse.  In fact, I was surprised that all those around me weren’t immediately raptured  up to heaven, leaving me alone to enjoy a nice peaceful jog.  But then I remembered that I live in San Francisco.  So, the rapture could have happened last May and I would never notice.

Now, I don’t have any problem with pregnant brides, but that’s why god invented eloping.  Shoot Las Vegas is a short 6 hour drive away (8 if insist on stopping to piss).  Why the hell do we need simulated fetuses for dress fittings?  Just when I thought I’d never understand women, I do.

I just hope that on her special day, the bride ends up having twins so her dress splits as she walks down the aisle.  And of course the dress will be white.

About Zachary H

I'm an attorney, writer, entrepreneur, and adventure
This entry was posted in Commentary, Humor, Rants, Society and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Breaking the Seal

  1. Chad says:

    That is too funny…esp when you think about the supply chain for those pillows. Someone actually saw that as a product need their business could fill! HOLY!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s